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This article was sent just a few hours after my mother passed away on 13 February, a month short of her 92nd birthday.  I learned
yesterday from reading a book on crystals that, when using amber with a
sick child, it’s advisable for the parent to put their energy into the
stone before giving it to their child. My Mom was both my mother and my
daughter, so it now makes sense to me why things happened as they
did…..

Thank you all for your support. My Mom passed away this morning just
before 9 am. Sh’ma Yisrael Adonai Elohenu Adonai Echad.

I had spiritual visitation yesterday from her (she’d left her body in
the morning and came to see me then so I’d know she was OK). At
approximately the same time, the hospice nurse noticed that a framed
photo of my mom and me that was on her dresser abruptly fell. I had
asked my Mom to give me a sign that she was OK once she passed. The
nurse and I felt my Mom had left her body at that time.

Later that day, her spirit directed me to buy her something "shiny and
sparkly." I thought that meant I was supposed to buy the pendant with
her guidance to wear to assist in my healing. I went to a crystal store
I frequent and was led to a beautiful gemmy amber pendant that was
shaped like a heart. It was shiny and sparkly. It felt wonderful to
wear this pendant. I learned later in the day about the healing
properties of amber (among other things, it sends out negative ions to
transmute negative energy into positive energy), so my brain understands
why it feels so good to wear it.

But she wasn’t passing away. Her
spirit was out of the body, yet she was still holding on to life. I
didn’t understand. I asked many for their views on why she wasn’t
passing. Some said I was holding her here (I’d spent the better part of
the previous two days giving her permission to go and sharing my
understanding of the journey out of the body into spirit, so that didn’t
feel right), some said her body wasn’t working on her spirit’s schedule,
some said they didn’t know.

It was all painful and confusing.

One friend suggested I place the pendant somewhere on her body or in her
clothing. That didn’t feel right as I planned on keeping the pendant as
a reminder of our eternal love. I am energy-sensitive, and I knew I’d
feel the energy of her difficult and prolonged departure in a way that
wouldn’t support my healing. I spoke this morning with my next door
neighbor, a retired RN, who suggested I place the pendant in the casket
with her. I didn’t know if that was OK, so I called the funeral home
from my hotel room to ask if Jewish law permitted my placing anything
in her casket. And, just as I was speaking with them, that’s when she
passed away.

I’m taking the pendant to the funeral home today with instructions to
place the pendant in her right hand. She was left-handed, and the
non-dominant hand receives energy; she will always be receiving the
energy of my love (I’ve been wearing the pendant since I purchased it,
so my energy is in the pendant). And the hospice nurse just called me
to say that when she pronounced my mom as having passed, her right hand
was clenched in a fist. Not both hands. Her right hand. She’s waiting
to receive her pendant. I get it now.

Your love and support are so precious to me. That being said, I know
some will ask about donations. I have already received so much from you
and I feel complete with that, but if you feel called to make a
donation, I suggest you visit puzzlestoremember.org
<http://puzzlestoremember.org/> . My friend Max Wallack, for his Bar
Mitzvah project, started a 501(c)3 corporation to obtain and distribute
jigsaw puzzles for Alzheimer’s and dementia patients. I learned of Max
through the Alzheiimer’s Reading Room blog, for which I am a
contributing writer. Max was his Great-Grams’ caregiver when he was a
boy; she had Alzheimer’s Disease. Last time I checked, Max had
distributed over 7000 puzzles across North America. Max and Springbok
have worked together to release a new line of 6 and 12 piece puzzles for
people with Alzheimer’s and dementia. Working puzzles is an excellent
way to stimulate brain function. I can’t think of a better place for
donations to be made to celebrate my mom’s life than Puzzles To
Remember. Your donation is tax-deductible.

Love and Blessings to You,

Sheryl

I am a contributing writer for the Alzheimer’s Reading Room blog (http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com).  I submitted the following article to them.  Bob DeMarco, the founder of the site and primary caregiver for his mom, doesn’t post all of my articles, and he didn’t post this one.  I feel the information contained within this article is well worth sharing, so I’m posting it here.  My articles for them are all written under the title of "Keeping The Love Alive;" there are hundreds of wonderful articles written by a wide variety of experts about all aspects of the dementia experience.  I hope you’ll visit, and visit often.

Do you remember Rockstar: INXS , the 2005 televised competition in which INXS auditioned and selected an unknown vocalist to front their band?

This show aired live during the days before I was a caregiver for the dementia patient I call Mom.  I was addicted to this show. My friends, none of whom had an interest in INXS, quickly tired of my giving them the weekly recap of the previous night’s performances.  That didn’t stop me from updating them each week.  I’d initially rooted for another contestant to win but changed my mind the moment JD Fortune took the stage with his new bandmates to perform their classic hit, "What You Need."  You can still find the video on youtube if you want to see what I saw.  I couldn’t take my eyes off him.  He had charisma.  His voice fit the music.  He had the moves.  He was good looking.  He clearly loved performing.  No one could replace Michael Hutchence, their late lead singer, but JD knew how to bring it on.  I’d become a fan.

I followed the ups and downs of JD’s career during the next few years, whenever his name crossed my mind.  I learned he had a spiritual side, so I became an even bigger fan.

I felt drawn to look for him on Twitter last week and learned he’d recently started an account as @JDFortuneINXS.  Worked for me.  I followed him on Thursday.  The very next day, he posted the following tweet:  "You are only as weak as the strength you ask for.  I stopped asking for strength, and a lot of my troubles went away.  Go figure?"

I love synchronicity.  That’s how I know I’m living in the flow.

I was blown away by the wisdom contained in the required less-than-140-characters.  I knew that quote deserved to get out to a wider audience, so I tweeted JD, asking for permission to use his quote as a basis of an article on caregiving.  His tweeted response?  "Actually…I think you can quote me.  I checked and other than in my head, it’s not out there.  So, quote it forward!!!  Peace."

JD, you rock, brother.  If you’re reading this article (I’m sending you a link via Twitter), I thank you for inspiring me and many others…

I agree 100%.  Like JD, life has taught me that asking for strength is an invitation to our Higher Power to send more challenges for us to handle.  The more I asked for strength, the more challenges Higher Power found to use up that newly-delivered strength, and the more strength I needed to meet both the old challenges and the new challenges, the more challenges showed up.  Are you an "I Love Lucy " fan?  If you remember the scene where Lucy and Ethel are packing chocolates on the candy assembly line, you’ve now got a visual showing how it feels to be overwhelmed with more work to do the more you demonstrate how capable you are.  I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve been up to my forehead in challenges for the last four years.  Don’t need any more challenges, but thanks so much for asking.  What else you got?

Instead of asking for strength, along with JD, I’m now asking for something else.  JD tweeted he’s now asking for happiness.  I’ll welcome happiness along with physical/emotional/mental/financial balance, serenity, wisdom, support, kindness, love, and whatever else my Higher Power can send me to help me through this heartbreaking and heart-opening time in my life.

I’m good with strength.

Thank you, JD.  And as long as we’re "speaking," I’d love to chat with you about your spiritual approach to life, so if you ever want to do radio with me, please tweet me back.  I’m looking forward to someday seeing you fronting INXS in person; if I’d followed you one day earlier, I would have known to get tickets for your upcoming show in Toronto.

Oh, and regarding the friends who were disgusted with me for going on and on about Rockstar: INXS in 2005?  Each one of them remembered my talking about you, and each one of them appreciated hearing your quote.  They’re all going through their own challenges, and they’re taking your quote as a reminder to be careful with what you ask for.  Thank you from them, too.

To JD, to Bob and Dotty, and to everyone who reads this article, I wish you and yours a blessed holiday season and a happy new year.

A funny thing happened on my way to hosting Glow With The Flow Radio Show on April 15, 2010.

I’m not.  And it’s all good.

My contract with the 7th Wave Network of VoiceAmerica Talk Radio has run its course.  If you’re interested in hosting a radio show on a professional platform, I give them the highest possible recommendation.  Everyone has been helpful, supportive, and kind.  From my heart, thank you Brandy, Randy, Ruben, Jeff, Michael, Chad, and anyone else I’m forgetting.

I’ve been blessed to have had incredible guests to chat with during my fourteen weeks on 7th Wave.  I’ve really enjoyed getting to know them or renewing my acquaintance with them.  I hope you have, too.  Thank you Stephen Edwards, Keith Varnum, Luke Robinson, Joe Nunziata, Jonathan Divine, Jenn Edwards, Judy Foster, Brian Lowney, Bob DeMarco, Adrianna Larkin, Don Shapiro, Heron Free, Joe Rumbolo, Bonny Cheryl, Gina Julie, and Douglas H. Melloy.  I’ve been inspired, amused, enlightened, and embraced by you and I look forward to continuing the connection in the future.

What’s next?

For the time being, I’ll get back to writing two books, guest blogging, and guesting on other people’s radio shows.  As a contributing writer for http://www. AlzheimersReadingRoom,com, I’ll be posting articles on keeping the love alive between caregivers and loved ones during the dementia experience.  As for the rest, I’m surrendering it to Spirit.  I love hosting radio shows and, if that’s to be part of my future, I trust it will show up in the perfect way at the perfect time. You might find me hosting a show every so often until I find another home.  If that happens, I’ll list it here.  C’mon down!

If you’ve followed my shows, you know my mother has dementia.  Although she’s fought a valiant fight for a long time, the dementia eventually wins.  I’m glad to be freed from my weekly radio responsibilities so I can spend time with her as needed.  It’s looking like that will be happening more and more.  I’m writing a book about our spiritual journey through dementia.  It was going to be called "Nine Roses for Eleanor: a spiritual journey through dementia," but as of this morning, there’s a new title.

I call my mother each morning to wish her a good day.  Although her deteriorating condition has changed the way we speak, I want her to feel that connection with me and I want to feel that connection with her.  Today is a sunny day here.  I asked her how the weather is where she is.  We dance that dance at least five times during each conversation as her short-term memory is failing.  It usually doesn’t matter what we say.  It doesn’t matter how she says what she says, which doesn’t always make sense to me. The vibration of my voice is healing for her and the vibration of her voice is healing for me.

Something magical happened today.  Several minutes into our continuing chat about the weather, I asked her if it is sunny where she is.  Her answer gave me chills.  She said:  "Yes.  The light is a thank you."

Wow.

I’ve sat with that comment for most of the day.  It’s the sort of comment her father would have offered up  After his career as a rabbi was stalled, courtesy of the Czar’s conscription law, he became a lifelong scholar and philosopher.  My mom has gone through her life with a different focus.  Let’s put it this way.  Two years ago, my friend Bonny Cheryl and her husband Ken came east and dined with us.  She listened to Bonny and me chat about how she’d asked for the parking angels to lead her to the perfect parking space on a busy Saturday night at an ocean community before turning to Ken to say, "I don’t know what the hell the two of them are talking about."

Her comment today was stunning in its deep simplicity.

What does it mean?

I think it’s up to all of us to figure that out for ourselves.

It’s going to be included in the eulogy I’ll be delivering when God calls her Home, and it’s going to be the title of the book I’m writing about her.

Thank you, Mom.  If you have other information to share with me, I’m ready to hear it.

And thank you for listening to my shows and for reading this post.

Til we meet again…….

Love and Blessings,

Sheryl

copywrite 2010 Sheryl Lynn .  All rights reserved.  Permission is granted to forward this writing only if the entire piece and this paragraph of credit is included.

Dear Friends,

Have you ever discovered a word you sensed, even before you researched its true meaning, would change your life?

Today, for me, that word is ally.

In Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, my hometown, the Boulevard of the Allies connects Downtown with Oakland.  I always felt I was on sacred ground when traveling that road.  Its very name felt exalted to me.  I even paused when enunciating its syllables; speaking each precious segment of the lengthy name felt to me like I was paying homage. The road wasn’t named Allies Boulevard, not placing the type of road in front of the name the road was given as we do with most roads.  This road was the Boulevard of the Allies.  The use of the designation Boulevard evoked images of France, majesty, and graceful elegance for me.

I eventually learned that the Boulevard of the Allies was named for the Allies in World War I.  I’d wondered what an Ally was.  An Ally felt like much more than a Friend, but I didn’t know how or why that was.  What made an Ally an Ally, not a Friend?  I’d wondered about this for many years, but I didn’t understand until several weeks ago.

The word "ally" comes from the Old French word "alier" and the Latin word "alligare."  Alier comes from a slightly differentiated stem of the word "aleier," which is also the source of the word "alloy."  What is an alloy?  An alloy is made when two metals or a metal and something else are melted down and mixed together, thus forming a new entity combining the separate qualities of both ingredients.  The two parts have now become one.  And alligare means "to bind to."  Thus, the ally is much more than a friend.  The ally has bound to and become one with something else, forming a synergistic unit that is much more powerful than its previously individual components.

The ally relationship is a sacred relationship only entered into when both parties agree to become one.  How could it be otherwise when two elements are binding with each other and joining to become something greater than each of its parts could be on its own?

I have found that sacred relationships - ally relationships - have four common elements: transparency, trust, union, and loving completion. Without a mutual commitment to take down our walls in order to be transparent with each other from day one to completion, without a mutual commitment to only do things to build trust from day one to completion and without a mutual commitment to only do things to be worthy of that trust in return, without a mutual commitment to placing the union as a high priority in both lives and to only do that which continually builds union with each other, and without a mutual commitment to part ways with love and respect when one or both parties conclude that the relationship no longer serves their needs, the construct of the ally relationship is doomed to failure.

I have entered into an ally relationship that is teaching me, a little more each day, how to do all relationship. If you have never joined in an ally relationship, perhaps the following will help you understand how it works to be an ally.

I recently learned I have a health issue that requires me to choose each day between health and illness.  In order for me to continue to live, I consciously partner with my body.  I am a spiritual being having a physical experience in this lifetime; in order for me to express in this physical world, I need to have a physical vehicle with which to do it.  My body needs me to consciously partner with it, and I need to consciously partner with my body.  I choose new ways of living to support good health; the many lifestyle changes I’ve now implemented include new food choices.  My optimal diet has radically changed during the past several weeks.  What I used to eat to maintain health and what I now eat to maintain health are two very different diets.  If I deviate from the healthy diet, consequences arise that now make it impossible for me to function as I want to function.  But I still crave the foods I used to eat.

If I deviate from this diet, I am not treating my body as my ally.  If I deviate from this diet,  I am not in sacred relationship with my body.  If I stay on this diet, I am showing my body it can trust me to maintain its health, I am showing my body I love it so much I will not do anything to damage our union, I am showing my body I’m committed to helping it stay as healthy as possible, and I am showing my body that I am working to delay its demise.

I’d worked with my body before to regain and maintain health, but I’ve never before partnered as an ally with my body.  A series of major life stresses showed up during the past few years, especially during the past months, bambambambambambam, much like the final barrage of fireworks at a holiday celebration.  They collectively did a number on my health, and I’ve now pledged to become my own ally.  I closely monitor what I allow myself to experience in order to create the highest possible quality of life.  I stay connected to Spirit, I pay attention to what my body tells me as I go through my day, I do what my inner knowing tells me to do, I only align myself with people who cherish me consistently through their thoughts/actions/beliefs/words, and I look for and implement ways to place self-care as a lifetime priority.  If I can successfully do this, if I can successfully partner with myself, I live.  If not, I die.  It’s that simple.  It’s that loving,  And it’s that liberating.

I love being my own ally.  It’s a lot of work, that’s true, but the rewards that come from doing the work are well worth it.  I recommend it highly.  And I look forward to welcoming other allies into my world, people who also choose to live life as I now live it.  Together, we will create a mutually loving, mutually nurturing, mutually transparent, and mutually trusting union in service to Spirit.

Where in your life might you welcome an ally instead of a friend? Is it with your health, your job, your relationships, your home, your finances, or your family?  Is it with something else?

Is this the day you attract, or is this the day you become a sacred ally?

If so, congratulations.

You’re an ally in sacred union.  You’re an ally in sacred union with a united you.

Copywrite 2010 Sheryl Lynn,  Permission to forward this writing is granted as long as the entire piece including the credit line, is included.